I NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH GOD, I'M A MESS!

The title speaks for itself because that is exactly how I feel. These past couple of days I have been doing me. Not stopping to have some quiet time with God. Not praying, not reading my word, not doing any studies. Just slacking. Living life. But I found myself very irritable, on edge, and just really out of it. I felt off. On my way home from a meeting at church, I was talking to myself and I demanded that I NEED to go home and have some quiet time. I go in the bathroom and pray, and I come to sit down and start my declarations. Once I get to the word of the day, I just couldn't shake it. Proverbs 14:30 MSG, "A sound mind makes a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones". I look and seen that I have read this scripture before. What is God trying to confirm? Once I broke the scripture down it started to make more sense. I highlight words that I may not understand. And the words that stuck out to me were, robust and corrode. When I looked up robust it means, strong and healthy; vigorous. Then I looked up corrode, destroy or weaken (something) gradually. A sound mind makes a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones. I was running away from my emotions and what I was feeling. I was running away from the fact that I was off. I didn't realize how much I depended on God and how much he keeps me sane. With Him I find clarity, my vision is clear. Too much was going on. My mind, my vision, and my emotions were just all over the place. But once I FINALLY came to God and acknowledged my irritation, being drained, and not putting him as my priority. Once I opened my eyes it was all clear. I am a lost cause without Him. I will go completely insane if I don't pray, read and pray! Because I have gotten so used to reading my word, speaking with God and sitting at his feet. If I go too long without sitting at the foot of Jesus, my flesh wants to take over.


You cannot go long without acknowledging your emotions to God because eventually it will destroy your body. A sound mind makes a STRONG AND HEALTHY body. When your mind is at peace it shows in your body, it shows in your face, it shows in how you interact with people. I remember I was in class one day and we just got done doing group work. I was talking with this guy after class and this other guy comes up and says, "I'm sorry to interrupt I just wanted to speak". And I speak and we started talking. In the conversation he mentioned that he was surprised that I spoke because he thought that I was mean. Hmm, why would he think that? He told me by the look of my face, because I always had a stern look. A look that says don't bother me, leave me alone. And that really just hurt my feelings because I didn't know that what I was feeling in the inside was starting to show on my face on the outside. Because I was running away from my emotions instead of acknowledging them, it was starting to corrode my body. God yearns for these moments with me, because he knows that it will relieve me from strongholds. If you find yourself struggling with your emotions, stop and pray to God. Tell him how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. He doesn't judge, he wants you to come the way you are so that he can fix it and make you whole again. When you are weak, he will make you strong. ALWAYS depend on God, lean on him. He is the King of peace, a comforter, he mends broken pieces, he is a deliverer, a friend.


Next time you find yourself feeling all over the place. I challenge you to stop what you are doing and simply talk to God. Shake it off and resume your day. Remember God loves you for who you are.


Love,
Kayla.