Lord, Let The Sun Stand Still
Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't been posting lately. I have strayed away from a lot of things lately. But I am glad to say that I am back on my square. Have you just been on fire for God, you're spending time with him daily, reading your word, growing a relationship with him then you just STOP. Well that is me.
When God told me to move to Chicago in 2013, I obeyed and moved. If you don't know I am originally from Chicago and in 2006 my family moved to Houston, Texas. Things just wasn't going well for me in Texas. I was smoking weed from the sun up to the sun down. Doing whatever I wanted to do. Hell was just surrounding me constantly. I just got to the point where I just couldn't take it any more. So I left to go see my family in Chicago. It was the break I needed away from my comfortable life. Then God placed it on my heart to just permanently move to Chicago. So I did, and I was there for almost a whole year. And a lot was changing in me in my time away. I grew a relationship with God. I was so connected to him that I was sensitive to his presence. I felt myself depending on God, I really had no choice but to have faith in him. God had placed me in a place where I really didn't know any one. And I was away from the place that made me comfortable. Last year in May I went to Texas to visit my mom. Something was pulling at my heart to move back. I battled back and forth with my emotions, I prayed that God would help me in the decision. I felt so disconnected from God. I contemplated if I should have just stayed in Chicago. Was I being disobedient? Then God told me to be still. Be still? Why? I have a decision to make in two weeks! Then it hit me. Apply what you did in Chicago while in Houston. I went out to look for jobs, daycares, apartments, and a church home.
One day me and my mom were out and about running errands really early. That was the day Kroger had a job fair. My mom went to her appointment and while she was in there it started pouring raining. And it didn't stop for a while. On my way to the job fair, the rain slowed down just a little bit. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't apply for the position. I knew I had a application on file just not for this location. But I went anyway. When I walked into the interview it was a lot of people there. As the process went on I found myself in the last bit of people. I didn't know what that meant. Did I get the job or what? Next thing I know I was offered a position and a start date. My phone was dead I couldn't call my mom, my mind was racing. I was just excited because God heard my cry. I went outside to see if my mom was there and I realized that it had stopped raining. And a sense of peace rushed over me. It was like God was telling me that everything was going to be ok. Things started to fall into place for me. Within those two weeks I found myself with three jobs to choose from, an apartment, a car, a church home. Things was looking up for me.
I found myself getting way too comfortable. Slipping into my old ways. One night I smoked. And I told myself that it was just for the night. And it was. I had my pastor come to my home and bless it and for some reason right after that it was like life hit me all at once. I lost one job, I was in jeopardy of loosing my apartment, my finances are messed up, bills are pilling up. I am ready to loose my mind. I stopped praying, I stopped reading, I wasn't going to church, I just started slacking. I let my circumstance over take me. I was so into figuring out how I was going to fix this, instead of calling on Jesus to help me. Then I broke. I cried from my soul, it was like tears was flowing from deep within. I couldn't take it anymore. Then God blessed me with a new apartment. A promotion on my job. Can you say favor? You would think things would get better but it got worse. I have this apartment but I am playing catch up with it. My car broke down, every time I get paid I have to pay on something. Leaving me with nothing. Blunt one, blunt two, maybe even blunt three. To avoid what was going on around me. Why Lord, why me? I found myself questioning God why he wasn't listening to me, why he wasn't helping me. Here I am crying out to you and you leave me hanging. I found myself becoming upset with God. But I can't blame nobody but myself. I strayed away maybe I deserve what I am going through.
Then I came across one of the sermons my pastor John Hannah in Chicago did called, Mountain Of Glory. This sermon was the day God confirmed my purpose, that was the day I felt God in a way like never before. I instantly broke down and cried because I thought I had lost that cd. God needed me to get back on my square. I didn't like the situation I was in, something had to be done. I was given a book called, Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick, my pastor suggested that it should be read. I started reading it and I was instantly uncomfortable. Steven talks about having audacious faith. Audacious meaning: showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks. I definitely don't have that. Faith is where I lack. The base of having audacious faith comes from the story of Joshua. In the book Steven asks a question. Does the brand of faith you live by produce the kinds of results in your life that you read about in the biblical stories of men and women of faith? That question hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course not. I want audacious faith, I need it.
My problem is that I am living in survival mode. Instead of believing in God for the impossible to become possible. I keep coming across this quote, "if the size of your vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting God". I put myself in a box and stayed there. Staying comfortable. I am tired of going back and forth with God. Having one foot in and one foot out. Saying that I trust him but scared to let him take control. I want that audacious faith that Joshua had. God had made a promise to Joshua the night before. And Joshua believed that it will come to pass. Joshua 10:12 "O sun, stand still over Gibeon, O moon, over the Valley of Aijalon." Joshua had the audacity to ask God to make the sun stop in the sky. "The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. There has never been a day like it before or since... Surely the Lord was fighting for Israel!" (verse 13-14). What I am getting to here is that it's time to practice our audacious faith. It is time to believe God in the impossible to become possible. It's time to be uncomfortable and fulfill the promises of God. There will be dry seasons. There will be fruitful seasons. There will be struggles, there will be lessons to be learned. But God will be over you watching your every move, guiding your footsteps leading you into your destination. This walk is not easy. But because of God's grace and love, it will seem easy.
I am a walking testimony, yes I went through the storm but when I pinch myself I can say that I am still alive and well. Yes this may be my circumstance right now but I have a lot to be thankful for. It's time to have the mindset of gratitude. It may take some time. But know that God's timing is always perfect. He is a perfectionist. And he wants to make sure that you are prepared for the plan. Remember that God loves you and he wouldn't put you through something that you could not bare. I love you! Stay strong. And keep pushing!
When God told me to move to Chicago in 2013, I obeyed and moved. If you don't know I am originally from Chicago and in 2006 my family moved to Houston, Texas. Things just wasn't going well for me in Texas. I was smoking weed from the sun up to the sun down. Doing whatever I wanted to do. Hell was just surrounding me constantly. I just got to the point where I just couldn't take it any more. So I left to go see my family in Chicago. It was the break I needed away from my comfortable life. Then God placed it on my heart to just permanently move to Chicago. So I did, and I was there for almost a whole year. And a lot was changing in me in my time away. I grew a relationship with God. I was so connected to him that I was sensitive to his presence. I felt myself depending on God, I really had no choice but to have faith in him. God had placed me in a place where I really didn't know any one. And I was away from the place that made me comfortable. Last year in May I went to Texas to visit my mom. Something was pulling at my heart to move back. I battled back and forth with my emotions, I prayed that God would help me in the decision. I felt so disconnected from God. I contemplated if I should have just stayed in Chicago. Was I being disobedient? Then God told me to be still. Be still? Why? I have a decision to make in two weeks! Then it hit me. Apply what you did in Chicago while in Houston. I went out to look for jobs, daycares, apartments, and a church home.
One day me and my mom were out and about running errands really early. That was the day Kroger had a job fair. My mom went to her appointment and while she was in there it started pouring raining. And it didn't stop for a while. On my way to the job fair, the rain slowed down just a little bit. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't apply for the position. I knew I had a application on file just not for this location. But I went anyway. When I walked into the interview it was a lot of people there. As the process went on I found myself in the last bit of people. I didn't know what that meant. Did I get the job or what? Next thing I know I was offered a position and a start date. My phone was dead I couldn't call my mom, my mind was racing. I was just excited because God heard my cry. I went outside to see if my mom was there and I realized that it had stopped raining. And a sense of peace rushed over me. It was like God was telling me that everything was going to be ok. Things started to fall into place for me. Within those two weeks I found myself with three jobs to choose from, an apartment, a car, a church home. Things was looking up for me.
I found myself getting way too comfortable. Slipping into my old ways. One night I smoked. And I told myself that it was just for the night. And it was. I had my pastor come to my home and bless it and for some reason right after that it was like life hit me all at once. I lost one job, I was in jeopardy of loosing my apartment, my finances are messed up, bills are pilling up. I am ready to loose my mind. I stopped praying, I stopped reading, I wasn't going to church, I just started slacking. I let my circumstance over take me. I was so into figuring out how I was going to fix this, instead of calling on Jesus to help me. Then I broke. I cried from my soul, it was like tears was flowing from deep within. I couldn't take it anymore. Then God blessed me with a new apartment. A promotion on my job. Can you say favor? You would think things would get better but it got worse. I have this apartment but I am playing catch up with it. My car broke down, every time I get paid I have to pay on something. Leaving me with nothing. Blunt one, blunt two, maybe even blunt three. To avoid what was going on around me. Why Lord, why me? I found myself questioning God why he wasn't listening to me, why he wasn't helping me. Here I am crying out to you and you leave me hanging. I found myself becoming upset with God. But I can't blame nobody but myself. I strayed away maybe I deserve what I am going through.
Then I came across one of the sermons my pastor John Hannah in Chicago did called, Mountain Of Glory. This sermon was the day God confirmed my purpose, that was the day I felt God in a way like never before. I instantly broke down and cried because I thought I had lost that cd. God needed me to get back on my square. I didn't like the situation I was in, something had to be done. I was given a book called, Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick, my pastor suggested that it should be read. I started reading it and I was instantly uncomfortable. Steven talks about having audacious faith. Audacious meaning: showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks. I definitely don't have that. Faith is where I lack. The base of having audacious faith comes from the story of Joshua. In the book Steven asks a question. Does the brand of faith you live by produce the kinds of results in your life that you read about in the biblical stories of men and women of faith? That question hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course not. I want audacious faith, I need it.
My problem is that I am living in survival mode. Instead of believing in God for the impossible to become possible. I keep coming across this quote, "if the size of your vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting God". I put myself in a box and stayed there. Staying comfortable. I am tired of going back and forth with God. Having one foot in and one foot out. Saying that I trust him but scared to let him take control. I want that audacious faith that Joshua had. God had made a promise to Joshua the night before. And Joshua believed that it will come to pass. Joshua 10:12 "O sun, stand still over Gibeon, O moon, over the Valley of Aijalon." Joshua had the audacity to ask God to make the sun stop in the sky. "The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. There has never been a day like it before or since... Surely the Lord was fighting for Israel!" (verse 13-14). What I am getting to here is that it's time to practice our audacious faith. It is time to believe God in the impossible to become possible. It's time to be uncomfortable and fulfill the promises of God. There will be dry seasons. There will be fruitful seasons. There will be struggles, there will be lessons to be learned. But God will be over you watching your every move, guiding your footsteps leading you into your destination. This walk is not easy. But because of God's grace and love, it will seem easy.
I am a walking testimony, yes I went through the storm but when I pinch myself I can say that I am still alive and well. Yes this may be my circumstance right now but I have a lot to be thankful for. It's time to have the mindset of gratitude. It may take some time. But know that God's timing is always perfect. He is a perfectionist. And he wants to make sure that you are prepared for the plan. Remember that God loves you and he wouldn't put you through something that you could not bare. I love you! Stay strong. And keep pushing!
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